Alternative Families -- Polygamy Style
by Melina Segneri March 26, 2015
All families come in different shapes, sizes,
and types. Some family life styles are by choice, and others are purely by the
cards that they were dealt. A family is a social institution of groups
that cooperate in the bearing and rising of children aspect of life. Therefore, the ultimate goal of
a family is come as one and multiply in numbers. Typically, most families begin
with a marriage, and in many societies it is acceptable to have more than one
spouse; this practice is called polygamy. It seems hard to accept that one
person could possibly be married to more than a couple of individuals. Many
centuries ago, Joseph Smith, who was a Mormon, had originated polygamy. He had
a religious calling that marriage should be plural and that the love in
marriage should be multiplied. Joseph believed that if a man or woman had a calling to
enter the life of polygamy, then that was the vocation to live by and God’s
wish should be followed. There are three different forms of polygamy that can
be found practiced all over the world, which include polygyny, polyandry, and
group marriage. Polygyny is when one man is married and linked to more than one
woman. Polyandry is very similar to polygyny, except one woman is married to
more than one man. Group Marriages is when there are a group of wives and
husband who are all married and multiply with each other. Most recently there
have been a lot of newly formed communities that have arisen in Utah that
revolve around the Polygamy lifestyle. There are many hardships that can come
from this way of marriage, and many people live in misery because they are born
into a family of sacrifice, spouse sharing, and often neglect.
Does jealousy ever arise or envy of any
other spouse who gets a little more attention? It is in human nature to grow
attached to that one person that we are supposed to spend the rest of their lives
with, and the thought of having to share a significant other is outrageous for
most people. In Today’s Christian Woman, a woman named Kathy shares her personal
experiences with growing up in the life of polygamy. She had been one of
thirteen children in Utah with one father and three other "mothers."
Kathy had been obligated to treat all three women as if they were all her
biological mothers and live a life
of pure obedience.
“Outwardly,
our family seemed content, but beneath the surface lay jealousy and pain. We
never acknowledged these feelings because we were supposed to sacrifice our
emotions. Even laughter was discouraged. We were constantly told to "keep
sweet" and that "perfect obedience produces perfect faith." Behind these sugary slogans
lay the impossible duty of living in complete obedience to the Prophet.”
(Brown. 2007. para. 2-3)
She had gotten up the courage to go
against her family and was able to leave the community as a whole and start a
new life the way she felt deemed necessary. This was a very hard transition
to make since she was left to live all on her own with no help from her family.
Research has shown that
there are emotional problems, such as depression, that correlates with people
that leave their own cult.
There are many types, patterns, and forms
for marriage. I feel a person should undergo whatever marriage he or she feel
is the most rewarding and makes them the happiest. Many people live a
life of unhappiness and that should not be how life is lived. Marriage is a very serious commitment and it has been going on for centuries. Some people just view the commitment in different ways and think they are allowed to have more than one spouse. Love derives from the eye of the beholder and everyone deserves a type of personal love where they can get all the attention they deserve from one specific person. All I can hope for is that
people find their path, because life is short, and you only get one life to find that perfect love and happiness.
References
http://www.polygamy.com/
http://www.polygamy.com/history-of-polygamy.html
http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2007/may/i-grew-up-in-polygamist-family.html?start=5
https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-and-families-in-early-utah?lang=eng
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20111205203616AACoraO
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